I am who I am.
URGH. Your evil child may not come by my hotel anymore, but I found potato chip crumbs in my MAIL BOX. WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY LOBBY?!

I’m sorry, does crumbs in your mail box bother you? Does it? No worries, you’ll love what I left for you in your desk then.

And I have to go through your lobby to see Mari. Y’know, that woman who won’t give a sleaze bag like you the time of day? :D


Whoa is this the Socko? … You got some of those socks on layaway?

why are you so mean to sam

I’m not mean! I’m just abrasive. Also you try being her mom; once she totally buried these sweet bday meatballs I made for her and cried about it. Though I guess I felt kinda bad too, I couldn’t afford anything to get her so I had to give her a shovel. It was a really nice one though…

Found it!

Yeah so, guess who finally found her marshmallow for this dumb site? This hot mama right here. Turns out hiding a marshmallow in a box full of those old edible packing peanuts was a terrible, terrible idea.

I half ate that marshmallow btw, took me forever to put the thing back together. I should been one of those CSI people or whatever.

So hit me up guys, gals and whatevers! I’m bored and Sammy isn’t answering my calls. iknow youre dodging me Sammy stop being such a tosser.

Ex-exsue me? Wh-what? What junk? Did you forget to take the trash out again?!

Hey, you wanted to know what I was talking about. So, you’re about to find out. I’m calling you now.

Dirty if things go right? Why would you actually want to make the floor dirty? That’s just preposterous! And what do you mean, then? I don’t understand!

… Ok, ok, ok. Hang on, I’ll call you and tell you what I mean. I can’t just post that junk here, my kid and her friends reads this.

WHAT naughty things? Like bending over to make the floor dirty?!

Hahahaha! Well, that’s true. When I bend over the floor can get dirty if things go right, but I don’t think you mean it that way.

Why would I pass out? I can’t think of any possible reason as to why I would!

It involves naughty things, Mari. Things you don’t wanna know.

What on earth do you need to bend for?!

Somehow I think if I told you why I did, I think you might end up passing out. Then I’d have to hitch a ride over to your house to make sure you aren’t dead.

Don’t make me have to do that, Mari.





Pam sighed as she got up from her desk. Hopefully since Sammy was busy online, she wouldn’t hear what she was about to do. She had to be quiet and quick. She knows she should have done it earlier, but she was a procrastinator.

She walked down the hall, making sure to take quiet steps. She narrowly avoided stepping on Frothy’s tail. Wow, that would have hurt.

Soon, she found her way into the kitchen. She frowned for a moment. She really hated doing this. She loved meat, but shereallylikes Reggie.

Taking a deep breath, Pam grabbed a hold of the door to her fridge and yanked it open. She pulled out the ham first. Well it wasn’t going fit in the trash. So, she took it out side and threw it in the neighbor’s yard. They wouldn’t be able to prove it was her. Hopefully.

She then went back to the fridge and started throwing out the rest of the meat. It wasn’t just the pork that had to go, it was beef, fish, chicken, eggs. Throwing away such good food hurt, but it couldn’t be avoided if Reggie was coming to stay.

Sam was busy trying to catch up with her blog- being in detention everyday and stealing everyone’s dinners afterwards was tough. She was drained. There were so many questions in her inbox- and she knew that if she were to answer them all in the same day, she’d need at LEAST a few packages of ham or bacon.

She heard the fridge door open a few times but didn’t really think anything of it- maybe Pam was trying to conserve energy or something…her past few boyfriends weren’t rich or anything so the bills weren’t really being paid at all.

Once she heard soft “thuds” coming through the opposite wall- Sam began to feel suspicious. She closed her laptop slowly and tip toed through her room until she saw Pam running back towards the fridge. She watched as her mother (that title would be renegotiated later- she decided) took random packages of meat and hurled them across the yard.

Living in a trailer park did have its advantages however, Sam easily jumped into her neighbor’s yard and shrieked as she scrambled to grab all the meat. 

Biting through the plastic- she met her mother’s good for nothing might as well be a fish out of water’s gaze and glared.


buuuut it turned out more like, “OW CUHD YAOU DO IS TUME?” with all the bacon and plastic in her mouth.

Pam’s mouth hung open as Sammy jumped the fence and then jumped back over it. If only she was half that active when she needed to be.

“OW CUHD YAOU DO IS TUME?” Sam yelled.

Pam barely knew what Sammy was saying, but she did manage to figure it out.

“Sammy, what are you doing!” Pam boarder line whined “I’m getting stuff ready for when Reggie moves in! I gotta get rid of this stuff!”


She saw that Pam’s expression hardened but she didn’t care. This was going way too far. Pam loved meat so much that she even named Sam so that her name rhymed with ham.

She held out all the meat and marched back towards her room and slammed the door shut with her foot. Tossing all the packages on her bed, she sighed heavily while updating her facerange status : WORST DAY EVER. MAMA’S IN A BAD MOOD.

Pam let out a groan. This just became harder then it needed to be. Not letting Sam’s tantrum get to her, Pam threw the rest of the meat out. Hopefully the neighbor’s dog will eat it all up before Sammy can get to it.

After purging the rest of the kitchen Pam walked around the rest of the house, checking for hidden stashes. There was a meat log behind the TV, bacon in the bookshelf, ham under the recliner and pork chops under some magazines. There was far more, but they all started to blur together.

Soon she found herself in front of Sammy’s door. Pam frowned as she thought about knocking, but she knew Sam would ignore her. Pam was sure Sammy would come around. She’d like Reggie. He was good looking, not a jerk and had a steady cash flow coming in.

Pam yawned. It was getting late. She’d have to break into Sammy’s room tomorrow when she was out doing something with Carly or whoever.

Taking one last look at the door Pam headed off to her room to get some sleep.